You Should Know That

It's been longer that I thought - so sorry!  Sometimes, life is busy happening and I lose track of time.

A few nights ago, I was helping Brandon get ready for bed.  His "tell" when he's sleepy is obvious; he sucks on his first two fingers and rubs his beloved stuffed raccoon Roscoe's tail back and forth against his nose.  He's been doing this since he is tiny.  It is sweet, innocent, and adorable.  Though I will no doubt be paying for orthodontia because of it someday, I have to admit that I love watching him revert to shades of my sweet little baby boy, with nothing more pressing than a need to be tucked in and read to.  

I needed to get his t-shirt over his head, so I gently tugged his fingers out his mouth, telling him "Hey Boo, I need your fingers out so I can put this on."  He looked at me and said "I do that when I'm tired.  You should know that."

You should know that.  

Wow.

How very many things that covers.  I should know that even though you read at fourth grade level (and possibly above)  your very favorite bedtime story is "Personal Penguin", a board book.  Not only because it features your beloved penguin, but because it is short and predictable and allows you to wind down without placing any demands on you.  I should know that when your health is off, even very slightly, that I will get an e-mail from your teacher letting me know you had an off day because if your health is off, your filters will be low. I should know that I need to explain things like that to your teacher, because you can't do it for yourself yet.  I should know that you need some downtime in your man-cave, and that if I let that happen, you will eventually also ask to go out, or for us to come in and play.  I should know that you don't eat inedible objects to drive us all crazy, even though it feels like that sometimes.  I should know that even though you're bored of the foods you eat, trying new ones is still much too scary for you.  I should know that when we go places, allowing you to lead may not be the most efficient way of seeing something, but it allows you the control you need to make it OK.  I should know that there are all these things that I need to know, so that I can advocate for you until you can do it for yourself.  You should know that I love you, and every single day I'm trying to learn just a little bit more, so that when you say "you should know that", I can say "yes, I do."

Speaking of things I should know, I should also know that Cady knows (and understands) more than I think she does.  Always.  

Brandon has a fixation with gift shops.  Not only does he have a deep need to go into one at each place we go to (assuming one exists), but he has a deep need to come out with a toy.  Each and every time.  We've tried multiple tactics to squelch this, but the end result is usually a meltdown if we don't give in.  I think we're starting to approach the point where he's mature enough to work on this, but in the meantime, I will readily admit to consciously deciding to purchase my sanity.  And that in the interest of fairness, Cady is also allowed to pick out a toy.  Try not to judge me for this one, OK?

We had an interesting gift shop visit while on vacation this summer.  For the first time ever, the kids couldn't readily find something they really wanted.  Brandon was not about to rest until he found *something*.  Cady kept picking things up and putting them down, and we discussed not buying things that we could easily find at home (and probably for a lot less money.)  We talked about waiting until she saw something special, instead of buying a toy for the sake of buying a toy.  For the first time, she chose not to get something.

Later that evening, when I was tucking her in, she floored me.  This is an approximation of our conversation:

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"So, I know we go into the gift shops because of Brandon.  You know, it's OK, if we go into a gift shop, and you say that I should wait and maybe not get anything this time, because we're going to go into other gift shops.  It's OK."

I didn't know what to say to that.  I could not believe that my not-quite 8 year old had so thoroughly pegged what was going on.  That she understood enough to tell me that she was now grown up enough to want to be treated fairly, but that she was starting to get that fairly and equally are not always the same thing.  I should know that she gets it, even when she's busy acting like a very typical sibling who might wish we could export her brother to the moon, for no other reason than that he's her brother.  

My kids blow me away all the time, just by being themselves.  You should know that.